he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
one might say we're banned from that church
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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