You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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