2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I think weed is turning my hair brown
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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