So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
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