He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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