Its about making memories worth repressing
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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