omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
