u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
