My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
