Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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