don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
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