Me too!
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
It's just like the Real World with babies
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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