I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
