My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize