This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
