I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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