i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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