he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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