if only i could text you this smell
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
