Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
bring money and cleavage
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
