I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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