And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
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how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
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the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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