Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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