you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
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We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
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My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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