My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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