ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
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