Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
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