I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
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