I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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