You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
God I need to hump something, right now.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
