how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
our cab driver is having phone sex.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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