Three words: puerto rican gang bang
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
i think i just lost a toe
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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