im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
