We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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