I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Randomize