So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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