Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
you inspire me to be a worse person
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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