Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
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