even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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