her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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