Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize