Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
