I heard we made out
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
