Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
that's an acceptable place to lick
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
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thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
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