You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
