You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
My pussy is not your playground.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I'm just crazy horny about you
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
