she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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