and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
