Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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