Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
