I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're like a gay fantastic four
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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