girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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