I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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