well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
This toilet bowl is my home.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
