i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
He told me they were just razor bumps!
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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