do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Terrible idea I love it
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize