thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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