and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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