im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
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