went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
