well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
