i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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